The Stockholm Sangha just held their first LGBTQ (HBTQ in Swedish) retreat, hoisting a rainbow flag at Dharmagiri, their retreat centre north of Stockholm. Fifteen order members, mitras and friends came together from Sweden, Finland and Norway to practice together and to start an exploration of emptiness and form and how gender and sexuality affects the way we practice.
We set the scene with a very thoughtful talk on what helps create a ‘safe space’, an atmosphere where everyone can relax and be themselves. From that first evening onwards it felt that everyone’s defences came down and a very light and open atmosphere emerged.
The Dharmic backbone of the retreat was an exploration of ‘form and emptiness’. So in and out of meditation we reflected on just how our various identities are constructed, fabricated, ‘made up’ if you like. How in reality experience is far more fluid and ungraspable. But as well as reflecting on the emptiness of form we also reflected on the various forms emptiness takes, that we all exist as unique and particular beings with both the pleasures and pains of being human. As Tsongkapa explains, if we focus on form at the expense of emptiness then we lose wisdom, but if we focus on emptiness and ignore form we lose compassion.
During the retreat we started a discussion on ‘the single sex idea’, which is such a big part of our order and movement. How does this work in a community of gay, lesbian, transsexual and non-binary people? Needless to say we didn’t find the answer! The koan being that while single-sex situations are really valued by many of us, for some it just doesn’t work to have to choose to be ‘male’ or ‘female’.
It was great to be in a situation where everyone’s experience was equally valued and where there was such a desire to create for one another a Sangha where one could be oneself without compromise.
We are planning another retreat next autumn to take these explorations further… do get in touch if you are interested.
